| I'd like to dedicate this one to the panic attack I'm trying to avoid. |
[Jul. 5th, 2010|11:04 pm] |
I like to call it the Wait-it-Out-Syndrome. Or the Fail-to-Let-Go-of-the-Past-Itis. Maybe a nice combination of the two. Wait, maybe add a little Afraid-to-Try-Something-New-Osis and I think you’d nail it down. So in summary, let’s just say I have a touch of the I’m-a-Fucking-Idiot Disease and call it a day.
Either way it is the reason behind why I have never reached my potential in probably anything. Whether it be moving away from Ann Arbor or finding a decent job or realllllly dating a nice feller for once.
“Surely things will get better” or “What if things improve and I ditch things before realizing it” or “But things used to be so good, things will turn around”or “What if I change things and it only makes me more miserable?” etc etc etc. It’s amazing what denial can do to people. Even the smartest & brightest can experience the crushing oppression that is denial.
Logically, I can see that I’m doing it. All of my friends and family can see that I’m doing it. I can’t tell if I’m just completely outright ignoring the problem or if I am simply lazy. Perhaps it is a little of both at this point.
How can someone let go of the past and actually just try something new for once? Take a chance. Don’t count on the “what ifs?” and just go with the cold hard facts. I am damn good at my job when it comes to facts. I fucking fact check that shit out, I don’t guess because it has to be precise. So what is PRECISELY the facts of my life then?
Shit. |
|
|
| Hey look, a livejournal |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|06:02 pm] |
|
Maybe I should start writing all of my juicy gossip on here from now on (once again). |
|
|
| Hmm |
[Jan. 23rd, 2009|11:18 am] |
I was told yesterday that there is a high probability that Livejournal will be shut down soon.....which is frightening because i would HAVE to archive all my entries.
And just plain sad.
If anyone here's any concrete evidence about this let me know!!
By the way I have a twitter account if anyone wants to join in:
twitter.com/zombiextina |
|
|
| THIS IS SIMPLE MATH |
[Jan. 12th, 2009|12:49 pm] |
Scenario: you and your friends are going to do karaoke. You say you are going to be renting the room. This means EVERYONE is chipping in to rent said room. This total is 65 dollars an hour.
You sing and drink and be merry.
It's time to leave, the bill is 190 dollars. You've stayed for 3 hours. How much do you owe?
"I don't have any money"
"I have 5 dollars but I need it for cigarettes"
"I didn't bring my money" later.... "man look at all this money I have--why do I have so much money? Must have forgotten"
WHO ARE YOU EXPECTING TO PAY FOR YOU, IDIOT? If you are in a paying by the hour place and you have no money, why the fuck are you THERE?
That is the LAST time I ever go Karaoke-ing with some idiots I don't know. PAY UP FRONT. Don't be a fucking ass. |
|
|
| Well |
[Dec. 8th, 2008|12:37 am] |
I've learned over the years to never say no to this question:
"Hey what are you doing right now? Can I come over and bring some booze?"
This has happened to me quite a few times. It's always late at night (like after 9pm) and it's always a male friend who calls.
This is code for "I'm depressed, I need to escape and drink but I don't want to drink alone because that's just pathetic...and I can open up to you a little bit more than with a male friend..."
I'm happy that I can help my man-bitches out in this regard. It's one of the few times I know my presence is appreciated and my company a fair distraction.
I just wish I had someone to do that with from time to time. |
|
|
| And stuff |
[Nov. 30th, 2008|08:20 pm] |
So I've successfully bled out all the life I once had - and now I realize just how sucky it can be to have a full time job. Wait....I mean 1 full time job and two part time jobs.
Ok, well at least the 2 part time jobs ended this week so I might have SOME freedom.
Anyway, I've become pretty good buddies with a few people at work, which has made things tolerable there...otherwise I think I'd have to quit. Ryan (shown here with laser beam eyes) is a good dude - He's the drummer from Canada (and I'm also friends with Aaron who is ALSO in the band Canada).
That picture was taken on Ryan's B-day...and everyone knows when you turn 25 you get laser beam eyes so, voila.
I applied to the JET program last week with Aaron, so we'll see if that pans out. I think I'm going to apply to 2-3 grad schools again this year in the hopes that I might finally get on with some schooling....ehhh..if both of those fail I guess it's AEON or job apps galore. All I know is that I can't stay in Ann Arbor for longer than a year...once my sister leaves that's it for me. I'm outta here man. It's just the same ol' same ol'.
Of course, I'm sure I'd feel that way about any place if I've been there long enough.
I kinda wanna quit my job and just do art all day. Seeing as how I've had no time do anything cool in MONTHS. Tempting, but stupid.
At least I have Hulu.
|
|
|
| "The Cure" or Kerokan |
[Oct. 22nd, 2008|10:29 pm] |
I FINALLY posted All of my damn Indonesia photos...it only took 2 months.
I whittled 700 photos down to 150. Twas all I could do.
Enjoy!
|
|
|
| Random Notes on Indonesia Part 2! |
[Sep. 12th, 2008|03:27 pm] |
More random sheeeiiit
~People just love to talk and hang out. Large portions of the day are spent kind of shmoozing and laying back. If you rush people think you're really rude. Even if there is NOTHING to talk about, people just want you to stay around. When Carrie & I were running errands she told me it would all take awhile simply because people would want to chat...about nothing...Uncomfortable silences are in different languages are still uncomfortable silences.
~Scooters & motorcycles are big here... and often times parents will have 3-4 children on the bike with them. The craziest thing I saw was a a chick holding her infant with one arm while driving. Better yet, a guy had a baby standing on the bike, holding on for dear life.
~Some people take 3-4 Mandis (sp) or showers a day. Because it's so damn hot out. And sweating is not fun.
~Walking down the street in a small neighborhood will draw alot of stares. Especially children. They'll stare and then say the word for "white foreigner" which is derogatory. Fun!
~Everyone here is passive. Which means they are all passive aggressive. People will insult or disapprove of something in the most roud about way possible.
~Mosquitos only seem to bite foreigners. That was a fun fact to learn. And they're TINY. I honestly said aloud the first night "man there's no bugs here" and the next morning I woke up with 23 BITES. 23. Yes.
~In the city of Solo, Pizza Hut is one of the fanciest restaurants you can go to. It was really pretty with fancy shit and waiters who spoke english, etc. I had an avocado shake. Kinda gross. And the pizza is almost right--they just have tuna and corn on it. Our bill was about 20 bucks, which is really high considering what I paid for food everywhere else.
~ And my favorite part--transportation. No speed limit, no stop signs & maybe a handful of stop lights throughout the entire city with 4 lanes of traffic. And bicycles. And motorcycles. Oh yeah, and there are no set stops or routes really, you just flag down a bus. I have never gotten motion sickness in my life until one day I tried out the bus system. Apparently veering into oncoming traffic at 70 mph to get around pesky motorcycles carrying 4 people is OK. Oh yeah, and I saw people texting while riding a motorcycle...
Oh, and on the bus random people will get on quite frequently to play a song on a banjo and then demand payment. I once had to pay 7 musicians for a 2 hour ride. I think if I were a bus driver there I would kill everyone. However, not having to obey any traffic laws could be nice.
|
|
|
| Notes on Indonesia Part 1 |
[Sep. 7th, 2008|10:27 pm] |
While I was there, I decided to buy a little notebook and write some random observations down while I was there...so here's some hodge podge fun:
~ Everyone EVERYONE smokes. I found it to be a rarity when someone didn't. Also, apparently no smoking signs just don't count.
~ They don't really have a traffic system. No speed limits, barely any stop signs or lights. And lanes are an option to stay in, you can ride in both for kicks. Oh, and going into oncoming traffic is A-OK.
~ Everyone drinks bottled water.
~ 90% of the population is muslim. So at 4am everyday the call to prayer is blasted over the loud speakers of the mosques. And there are mosques EVERYWHERE. That was tough getting used to that. Also, you can't wear tank tops outside, no matter how hot it is. In fact, I couldn't believe it when I saw people wearing jackets & long sleeves!
~ Alot alot of people own cell phones. No "plans" but all pay-as-you-go. You have to find a little open shop that sells "pulsa" or minutes. People don't really call one another, texting (or SMSing as they call it) is way more popular and cheaper.
~ If you get a drink "to go" at a Warung (a warung is a fast food shop of sorts on the side of the road just about everywhere) it's in a plastic bag. They fill this sucker up and then tie it shut--and hand you a straw. Marvelous, I loved it.
~ I rarely saw anyone wearing shoes, sandals are the norm. And so almost everyone has black dirty feet. In fact I think it's impossible to have clean feet there.
~ No mailboxes, you have to go to post office to pick it up. And chances are they will open your mail, look through it, and if edible--eat it.
~ If you go to a Warung, you can get a massive amount of food AND a drink and it'll cost around 5,000 to 10,000 rupiah. AKA right around a under a buck.
Warungs are great. You show up & order food and its ready in minutes. And it's delicious. However alot of the food there is fried and/or cooked in palm oil. It's kind of hard to get used to because it is so overwhelming in their diet. I had such bad breath for days because my tongue was yellow from the oil...and yeah. And having your pee smell overwhelmingly like palm oil was.....frightening.
Ok, more later. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
mezuski's journal
